Peaches, Pedro Pascal, and Public Libraries
new rules of broke-ass summer just landed
Since it costs $32 to leave the house now, I’m donning my Augustinian friar tuck outfit* and nailing new summertime rules to the church door called LIFE. If the previous sentence didn’t make sense to you, you didn’t grow up super-churched, extremely congrats 2 you!!
*Augustinian friar tuck outfits were NOT on that lady’s tiktok chic list.
Anyway, new rules of brokeass summer are here, follow them or go to jail.
We are eating peaches, we are loving Pedro Pascal, we are going to the public library. These are the 3 Commandments, they cannot be broken. They WILL not be broken.
Sell those expensive concert tickets, put that money in your Rotisserie Chicken Fund. Boom, you’re eating all summer for free. If you don’t have a Rotisserie Chicken Fund, I don’t know what you’re doing with your life. Evaluate, people.
Get your library card. Promise yourself a personal pan pizza if you check out books. You don’t even have to read them.
Do not under any circumstance track your summer reading. That’s an order from your librarian. Why are you giving yourself homework??? Read stuff or don’t read stuff, review it in your mind, give it -900 stars in your mind, give it 823672863178 stars, we are all!! going!! to!! die!! someday!! Throw your GoodReads challenge into the sea!!
Looking at clouds is still free FOR NOW. Run don’t walk to a blanket in a park near you!!! Dark is closing in!! Or is that the capitalist society realizing they could charge you to look at the clouds and are lowering the Counting Clouds Blindfold (patent pending) until you swipe or tap? Oh god!! Darkness descends!!
INSERT CASH OR SELECT PAYMENT TYPE.
New paid subscriber shoutouts (crow calls): All new paid subscribers get a personal shoutout and/or link to their Substack (if they have one) here! I love everyone equally, but I love you most 🥰 Thank you to: A.A. *MUAH!*
Life:
Toss this in the Shower Thoughts bucket, but I realized I never really differentiate in my mind between like, 16th century history and 18th century. Like obviously I know these are very far apart, but if someone tells me something occurred in one vs the other, the image in my mind’s eye of whatever story you’re telling me is basically the same. Like, being 16 vs being 18, those are like, totally not terribly different in the grand scheme of things. So 16th century, 18th century, shruggy guy! I wonder if that’s how god feels, like oh, is it the 21st century already? Huh, they grow up so fast. Drag of the cosmic vape. I should really reach out, it’s been a while. Ah well. WaWa time. It’s hoagie fest again.
So anyway.
As you may have noticed, I’m going through a little identity crisis on substack (I’ve been here since before TikTok, but went dormant): I want to write more specifically about libraries because I think that’s Important and Relevant and I’m Pretty Qualified, but I also like to still be silly and write WHATEVER, so I feel like NEITHER format here meets my ADHD needs, so if you signed up for Weird But Okay, there’s gonna be more library stuff here as Things Happen In the World Unfortunately, and if you signed up for a library substack, there may be more weirdness. I don’t know if I’m gonna switch back to calling this WEIRD BUT OKAY, but the good news with ALL of this lil postscript is that in the end — say it with me — we are all!! going!! to!! die!! someday!!
yee haw y’all,
hayley
I’m on board for feral library & rotisserie chicken summer. But if I track my reading then my library will give me a tshirt and a mug and I’ll feel like I’ve accomplished something in this hellscape of a year. 🥺 I’m literally wearing last summer’s tshirt today.
I like both the library content and the weird but okay content, so it’s a win-win for me! I checked out a bunch of cookbooks from our library for inspiration for healthy meals for me and my husband, so excited to dive into those books!